On looking
Pros and cons lists do not work.
They seem to, until a dimension emerges that is infinitely more powerful than all the others.
In negotiation, competition renders logical argumentation on other grounds useless. Mother acts in the interest of the infant. Those drowning search for air.
When meaning crystallizes itself, it diffuses the search for it into oblivion. The act of looking is the proof of being lost.
Expect this post to change or disappear.
I am still to crystallize the above, but the broad strokes are perhaps starting to land. The crux is that looking and finding are not part of the same process, rather two separate things that are not derivative at all — there is no “looking” and “finding”, rather “looking” and disjoint “having found”.
And how the “having found” is so clear and bright (kirgastunud) that no questions about the search remain.
I think it is connected to the idea in meditation, that “you cannot get from here to there”.
And it links to the wider observation that for some things, the seeming effort towards them is not really taking one towards the stated goal, but is a naive misplaced effort.
P.S. Interestingly, some things are the opposite — effort towards the thing is the thing in itself. Consider love. Love — is a verb. (Ka eesti keeles — ma olen hakanud armastusest mõtlema kui tegusõnast!) — the effort and consideration to love is the love itself.